Winning the argument
Dear Editor:
How to win an argument without really trying is my message today. What I mean by "not really trying" is to avoid those annoying details like researching facts and identifying quoted parties.
Any darn fool can waste his/her time with that sort of thing and all it does is generate more arguments and make you look bad.
Rule #1 is very simple: When you are accused of anything like being associated with an undesirable group or person, or twisting the truth, you merely smirk and confidently proclaim how ridiculous is the very thought of such an accusation. Remember, the smirk is very important and if you are not accustomed to smirking, you should practice it before a mirror until it comes over as perfectly natural. It also helps to smirk to audience left and then right so no one misses your contemptuous feelings.
Rule #2 is also very simple: Never let facts get in the way of your argument. The cardinal point here is to select numbers, conditions and occurrences that are believable to the uninformed audience. By believable, I mean somewhere in the ballpark. Remember, even the simple-minded may detect an exaggeration. Now, in the event your statements are challenged, return immediately to Rule #1.
Rule #3 is a little more complex: Whenever you are speaking, in public or private, you must speak with an air of complete confidence, so your audience may assume you know what you are talking about. Your speech must be very precise; your demeanor must clearly present complete confidence with appropriate hand gestures and eye contact.
Rule #4 is simple in concept but difficult in execution: When telling a "story," repetition is required to convert the story to "fact." Here is the difficult part; in order to be truly effective, the story should be repeated by numerous sources. The help of sympathetic media is vital.
Now that you know the rules, you can better understand the game as it is played out by certain politicians. This will not only enhance your amusement but help in your evaluation of candidates. If by any chance you are considering a political career, thanks to television you have the opportunity to study first hand what I have just presented. God save America.
Jim Andrews
Austin